was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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