if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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