More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
