You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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