maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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