Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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