I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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