you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
