It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
