well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
