Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
