Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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