You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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