I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
