I can feel you judging me through the phone.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
