BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Rumble strips road head = magical
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
