Soap is not a condiment
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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