I feel like abortions should bother me more
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
