careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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