I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
