it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
