Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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