Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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