two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
