The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
