bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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