I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
