Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
