Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize