I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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