guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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