Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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