AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
