Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
