I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
