theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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