My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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