Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
