As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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