i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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