Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
