Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
