You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
