Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
