We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
