he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
