Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
