The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Randomize
