Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
