Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
