Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
