Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
