Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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