i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
